This is part two of a post I did last month. You can find the first post here.
We're almost 6 months into living in a suburb of Austin, Texas and so far, living on mission has been much more challenging than I imagined. I thought that before I start this I should acknowledge that I don't approach people or my neighbors in particular with an agenda to convert them to Christianity or to be like me. I genuinely want to get to know them, hear their story and love them where they're at on their journey. Maya Angelou said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." I want the people I interact with to leave feeling seen and heard and loved and cared for, no matter how broken or together they think they are. With that said, I really do believe that Jesus alone is the hope of the world. I want to be a vessel that points people to that hope.
I think the predominant model I see in the church for living on mission is based around meeting a person's physical needs, like donating food, a winter coat, or providing shelter in hopes that that will build a bridge to introduce them to Jesus. I think all of those things are really good and absolutely necessary. Jesus himself was consistently meeting people's needs through out the gospels. However, that model doesn't really work in the suburbs. People have food and shelter and clothing, yet are just as broken and separated from God as those that don't. How do you build a bridge with that person when they don't really have any physical needs? Jesus said that it is harder for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven. In a global perspective, even the poor in America are still considered rich, but I'd say that in Jesus eyes, most of us that are reading this fall under the rich category. A lot of attention is given to serving the poor from the church, and rightly so, but what about the ones that Jesus said it would be harder for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for them to meet Him face to face? Why are these types of people so overlooked in the church? And why is there this notion that all of us should forgo living around these people to live amongst the poor, and if you don't, you must be chasing the American Dream? If we all did that, wouldn't we be leaving an entire group of people that Jesus passionately loves and says it's going to be hard for them at a distance from us?
In my first post, I talked about how I've wrestled with this unpopular call to be vessel of hope amongst the ones that Jesus says it'll be hard for them to come to him. Here are a few things I'm doing to be a light to the suburbs... oh, and it doesn't involve canned goods.
1. Contentment, contentment, contentment. When I first moved in here, my neighbors liked to invited me in to look at their homes and show me their stuff. They like to display how they've got these really unique pieces of furniture and how they've creatively designed their interior. We had conversations about where you can find the best deal on an orb light and the latest things they've seen at Pottery Barn and Restoration Hardware. And I'm not going to lie, I really like that kind of stuff too. I'd invite them into my home and they'd see that I don't even have a piece of furniture in my living from and we didn't have a kitchen table for 5 months. They kinda looked at me like, "doesn't this bother you?" But it really doesn't. I have lived in various types and sizes of home and I'm no more content in the house that we have now than the house we affectionately call "the 650 square foot box" we lived in when we lived in MA. I've also realized that you can own something without it being treasure that you're storing up on earth. I think the question is, does your stuff/lack of stuff rule over your contentment? Having stuff will never make you content. Only Jesus can do that. Let that be your message. Stuff does not equal contentment. Knowing Jesus equals contentment.
2. Share your mess. I used to think that I should never share my mess, and by mess I mean my struggles and vulnerabilities, with people that weren't believers because they wouldn't be giving me godly input on the situation. While that may be true, sharing our mess makes us relatable and provides a place for them to say "me too". Because whether they know it or not, they've got a mess too. The difference is that as believers, we can share how Jesus is changing our mess and making us new. They can see the Spirit is at work in you. I can say to them, "man, I struggled to actually want to be with my kids today. But I keep thinking about how Jesus calls them a blessing and a reward from Him, and doesn't want anyone to hinder them from coming to Him, and knowing that, I would gladly lay down my 'rights' so they can know Him, you know?" The Bible says we have the mind of Christ and the Holy Spirit in us, so even if they give advice that is out of line with Scripture, we can filter that through the Truth and let God's Word have the final say on the situation.
3. Engage Culture. I don't know about where you live, but around here all the mamas love shopping at Whole Foods and working out at Barre 3. Go where the people love to go, as long as the Holy Spirit doesn't convict you otherwise. Get to know them on their turf and see what they enjoy. Talk to them about why they decided to do that new paleo diet and what their thoughts on Grain Brain were. Take interest in what they're interested in! You might find that you have something in common with them or find a new hobby (like me and barre 3!)
4. Kindness. Romans 2:4 says that it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance. Not his wrath or his handful of lightning bolts. It's that He's kind. Without it sounding too cliche, do some random acts of kindness. For me, this means I'm going to learn how to make some grain-free cookies this Christmas to hopefully show my neighbors that their dietary preferences matter to me. We'e done a few other things, but I'm always open to suggestions here!
5. Be available. We have one or two mornings a week where we don't go to preschool, don't go to bible study, don't set up playdates, won't be at church and overall, we just plan to be in our neighborhood. If you're so busy going everywhere else you can't build those relationships with your neighbors. Play with your kids in the front yard. Go on walks or to your local playground. Plan to be accessible to people. And when we first moved here, we told our neighbors with kids that they don't have to set up a playdate with us a month in advance if you want to get together and that they are welcome to ring our doorbell anytime their kids are itching for someone to play with or something to do.
6. Lastly, be patient. And I'm telling myself this everyday. Friendships take time to build and as much as I'd love to microwave this missional situation, God didn't design it that way. Remember that God says the harvest is ready but the laborers are few. You don't have to wait until you and your neighbors are BFFs before you tell them about Jesus. Trust God when He says the harvest is ready now.
I'd love to hear your take on all of this! Do you have any tips on getting to know your neighbors?
Following Jesus to the 'burbs (part 2)
